I donno what get passed off to being cool these days. Off late to add to my rage due to issues pertaining to marital bliss I find the coolness of some teens too much to handle. Am I biting more than I can actually chew??
Take for example, something I experienced couple of days back. Two guys who were dressed in absolute rags and consider that cool. Guy 1 was wearing a t-shirt which was like 4 times his actual size and pants which was neither shorts nor 3/4ths or for that matter full pant. It was more like poodle crossed with bull dozer. You don’t get it do you? Yes! I meant nonsensical. On the other hand Guy 2 looked a little more sophisticated for a first glance with unkempt hair and goatie to go with it. A little more attention you get to the bottom half he was wearing a low waist jean which in no way was low waist. It was more low thigh jeans or upper knee jeans. Jeez! As embarrassed as I was, I was hungry too.
So here I was trying to concentrate on the lip smacking street vendor’s delicacy. There were Bonda’s, Masala Vada, Onion Pakoda etc and I was plotting in my mind how to optimize the money in my pocket to get maximum utilization. Damn Right! I was being Economist in my own small world. I got interrupted by the conversation by the two guys. Here is how it went.
Wannabe Coolguy: Brooooo, Wassup Brooooooo?Hopeful Coolguy: Duuuuuude, Long time!
(At this point my mind was racing of the learning I had during school. Bro has just one “O” and Dude has just one “U” Don’t these guys know that?)
Wannabe Coolguy: Brooooo, Yeah Broooo, Guess what happened broooooooo. I had a fight with my dove brooooo. Sad bro! (Shaking his head incessantly)Hopeful Coolguy: Duuuuuuude, Don’t worry duuuuude! Why duuuuuude? Why did you fight with your DOVE duuuuuuude. Chill Duuude.
(I was just hoping the lightning could strike and end this conversation that instant but as nature would have it, it wanted me to go through this gruesome torture)
Wannabe Coolguy: She called me snobbish brooo. The fight is nothing at all broooo. But snobbish? What does she think of herself?Long Intense pause and both look at each other. In the meantime they place order for Bonda’s.
“Guru Hathroopai bonda kodu” (Give me bonda for Rs 10)
Wannabe Coolguy: Broooo What is snobbish brooooo?Hopeful Coolguy: No Idea, Duuuuude!
Pondering over what the actual meaning could be they come with different meanings for the word with ridiculous probabilities ranging from foolish, selfish, cheapish and so on. Absolute RUBBISH is what I though and their thought was being curtained with ISH factor primarily.
I couldn’t take no more. I had to get in between and sort things out for these teens. In fact I went to the extent of explaining the meaning of the word snobbish to these guys.
Just a small word of caution to all the bro’s and dude’s; Your bro’s and dude’s don’t make you cooler than what you are and lesser too. With screwed up English you are more looked like a wannabe than anything else. And yeah! Bro and Dude are spelt with one “O” and one “U” respectively. Thanks to them I lost my appetite and saved some money.
An Article by Rohith Devatha