Dont Mess With SANTA SINGH: jokes4u

Prince Charles & Santa Singh were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa Singh thinks "how poetic" 
Santa Singh says, "pass the custard you bastard".

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" 
Santa Singh says - "Santa Singh Married"

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary
Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Santa Singh : U R great sir! Starting salary is
o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh's theory : Moon is more important than Sun, coz it
gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during 
the day when light 
is not needed!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh and Banta Singh are driving a Car. Santa puts on the indicator
and asks Banta
to check whether its working. Banta puts his head
out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa Singh shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do
register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day
in the post
office....

************ ********* ********* ********* ******** 

Santa Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts
its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he
wrote the conclusion.. .... 
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut -
it becomes deaf......"

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??"

Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Punjabi tera
baap!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were looking at Egyptian mummy. 
Santa Singh : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident
case.
Banta Singh : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC
1760!!!....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh on an interview 4 da post detective. 
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Santa Singh : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start
investigating right now. ......

************ ********* ********* ********* ******** 

Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay
'FRIEND', but in the 
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced 
friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON,
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, 
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY
TRUE 
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Interviewar: what is ur qualification?
Santa Singh : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa Singh : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with
DIFFICULTY.. ..

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

In KBC

Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Santa Singh : liquid state.....
Someone in Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, IT WAS BANTA  SINGH..... ..