Dont Mess With SANTA SINGH: jokes4u

Prince Charles & Santa Singh were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa Singh thinks "how poetic" 
Santa Singh says, "pass the custard you bastard".

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Santa Singh at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" 
Santa Singh says - "Santa Singh Married"

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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary
Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Santa Singh : U R great sir! Starting salary is
o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?

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Santa Singh's theory : Moon is more important than Sun, coz it
gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during 
the day when light 
is not needed!!!

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Santa Singh and Banta Singh are driving a Car. Santa puts on the indicator
and asks Banta
to check whether its working. Banta puts his head
out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa Singh shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do
register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day
in the post
office....

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Santa Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts
its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he
wrote the conclusion.. .... 
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut -
it becomes deaf......"

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A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??"

Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Punjabi tera
baap!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were looking at Egyptian mummy. 
Santa Singh : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident
case.
Banta Singh : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC
1760!!!....

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Santa Singh on an interview 4 da post detective. 
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Santa Singh : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start
investigating right now. ......

************ ********* ********* ********* ******** 

Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay
'FRIEND', but in the 
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced 
friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON,
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, 
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY
TRUE 
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Interviewar: what is ur qualification?
Santa Singh : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa Singh : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with
DIFFICULTY.. ..

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In KBC

Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Santa Singh : liquid state.....
Someone in Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, IT WAS BANTA  SINGH..... ..

Recap Ur Old Memories...You will Love it

Some things cannot be forgotten . Here is small recap!!!!!           
                                                                     
                   Things that we have used ………                        
                                                                     
                            BRIL INK:                                   
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                            CAMEL GUM:                                 
                                                                       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                            HERO PEN:                                   
                                                                       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                         BALL POINT PEN:                               
                                                                     
           
                                                                     
                          GEOMENTRY BOX:                               
                                                                       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                         NATARAJ PENCILS:                               
                                                                       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                              Audio:                                   
                                                                       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                              VIDEO:                                   
                                                                       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                             WALKMAN:                                   
                                                                     
           
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                             FLOPPY:                                   
                                                                     
            
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                           FILM CAMERA:                                 
                                                                     
        
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                            FILM ROLL:                                 
                                                                     
            
                                                                     
                                                                     
                            TELEPHONE:                                 
                                                                     
                                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                             STAMPS:                                   
                                                                     
                         
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                          INLAND LETTER:                               
                                                                     
                                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                            POST CARD:                                 
                                                                     
                         
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                              SHOES:                                   
                                                                     
            
                                                                     
                                                                     
                         SCHOOL PICK UP:                               
                                                                     
            
                                                                     
                                                                     
                            GOLD SPOT:                                 
            
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                           BUBBLE GUM:                                 
            
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                      Unforgettable things…                             
                           
                                                                     

Nostalgic memories of those 'good old days' – world has changed and we also changed for the world !!! Are you missing those days? Sometimes I do  Doordarshan Logo  Doordarshan' s Screensaver  Ramayan  Mile Sur Mera Tumhara  Turning Point  He Man  Salma Sultana DD News Reader  Vicco turmeric,  Nahin cosmetic  Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream  Washin powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma  Doodh si safedi, Nirma se aayi  Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaaye  I'm a Complan Boy(Shahid Kapoor) and  I'm a Complan Girl (Ayesha Takia)  Surabhi How did one survive growing up in the 70's, 80's and 90's?  We had no seatbelts, no airbags..  Cycling was like a breath of fresh air…  No safety helmets, knee pads or elbow pads, with plenty of cardboards  between spokes to make it sound like a motorbike…  When thirsty we only drank tap water, bottled water was still a mystery…  We kept busy collecting bits & pieces so we could build all sort of things  and we were fearless on our bicycles even when the brakes failed going  downhill…  We were showing off how tough we are, by how high we could climb trees & then jumping down….It was great fun….  We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before dark, in  time for dinner…  We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bicycle.  We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other….  How?  We lost teeth, broke arms & legs, we got cuts and bruises and bloody noses…. nobody complained as we had so much fun, it wasn't anybody's  fault, only ours  We ate everything in sight, cakes, bread, chocolate, ice-cream, sweet  sugary drinks, fruits..yet, we stayed skinny by fooling around.  And if one of us was lucky to find a 1 litre coca cola bottle we all had a  swig from it & guess what? Nobody picked up any germs...  We did not have Play Stations, MP3, Nintendo's, I-Pods, Video games,  99 Cable TV channels, DVD's, Home Cinema, Home Computers,Laptops,  Chat-rooms, Internet, etc ...  BUT, we had REAL FRIENDS!!!!  We called on friends to come out to play, never rang the doorbell, just  went around the backdoor…  We played with sticks and stones, played cowboys and Indians, doctors  and  nurses, hide and seek, soccer games, over and over again…  When we failed our exams we were given a second chance by simply  repeating the same grade…without visiting psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors…  Such were the days…  We had freedom, success, disappointments and responsibilities. ..  Most of all, we learned to respect others…

Film Dialogue made PERSONAL :) :)

Baaziger:
"Kuch pane ke liye bhi kuch khona padta hai, aur kuch pa kar khone wale ko Baziger kehte hain".

Bhaji Ghar:
"Pet bharne ke liye kuch khana padta hai , aur kuch khane ki cheezien bechne wali jaga ko Bhaji Ghar kehte hain."

*
Mohabbatien:

"Ek ladki thi dewani si , Ek ladke pe woh marti thi , nazren jhuka ke, sharma ke , galion se guzrti thi , chori chori chupke chupke chitthiyan likha karti thi, kuch kehna tha shayad us ko , jane kis se darti thi,jab bhi milti thi mujh se , mujh se poocha karti thi, yeh pyar kaise hota hai , yeh pyar kaise hota hai , aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha"

Musebatien:
"Ek ladka tha pagal sa, ek moti pe woh marta tha , nazrien chupa ke, dar dar ke , date pe jaya karta tha , kuch kehna tha sayad us ko , magar us moti se darta tha , jab bhi milta tha bechara mujh se mujh se poocha karta tha , " main chutkara kaise paoooon, main chutkara kaise paooon", aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha ("abe to aise lafron main padta hi kyun hai )"

*

Darr:
"kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk Kiran"

Marr:
woh: "kkkkk" ,
samne wala: "kya bhai" ,
woh: "kkkkkkkk",
samne wala : "kya bhai kya ho gaya",
woh: "kkkkkkk",
samne wale ne thappad laga di, "kya kab se kkkkkkkkkk kar raha hai be"

*

Kuch Kuch hota hai:
"Pyar dosti hai , agar woh meri sab se acchi dost nahi ban sakti to main us se pyaar kar hi nahi sakta"

Kuch Kuch Zaroor ho raha hai:
"Date bahaut zaroori hai , agar woh mere saath date par nahi aa sakti , to main us se pyaar kya pyaar ka abba bhi nahi kar sakta" (Samajhti kya hai apne aap ko)"

*

Sholay:
"Are oh samba, Kitne admi the re, hahahaha, Jo dar gaya samjho mar gaya"

Tolay:
"Mummmmyyyy, kitne toley hain mere sar main",
Mummy : "Jo pakra gaya samjho mar gaya"

*

Kante:
"Ek din hum sab ko narakh main to jana hi hai , yeh kam karo aur lambi gadi main jao nahi to pedal"

Chante:
"Ek din hum sab ko date par to jana hi hai , ek kam karo , GF ko bus main bithao , aur khud jao pedal (Paise bacaho)

*

Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum:
"Parampara Dad, Parampara , pehle aap gaye the phir bhaiya gaye the aur ab mujhe jana chahiye"

Kabhi tum Kabhi hum:
"Parampara Dad , Parampara, pehle aap date par jate the , phir bhaiya jane lage , ab main bhi jaooon ga" 

My Best Telugu Songs...

Here is My list of Favourite Telugu songs...Enjooy The Video.. Will expect ur comments too :)

Thanks for Watching
Dont forget to follow my Blog...:) :) Love you ppl

Delhi Belly.Bhag Bhag DK bose Lyrics With Video

Daddy mujhse bola
Tu Galti hai meri
Tujhpe Zindgani guilty hai meri
Sabun ki shakal main
beta tu to nikla kewal jhaag
jhaag jhaag bhaag

Bhag bhag bhag bhag
Oh By god lag gayi
kya se kya hua
dekha to katora
Jhanka to kuan
piddi jaisa chuha
dum pakda to nikla poora naag
Naag bhaag

Bhag bhag Dk bose Dk Bose
Bhag bhag Dk bose Dk bhaag
Andhi Ayi Andhi Ayi
Andhi Andhi Ayi
Bhag DK bose Dk Bose Dk Bhag Bhag Dk bose dk Bhag

Suprising Kitty Video :) :) Fun for all times

Surprising kitty....

This is a spoof......:)

Watch "Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya" Tamil Movie ..

Hi guys...Watch the Whole Movie in our BLOG...dont forget to "FOLLOW" this blog by clicking Follow button in the Right hand side...over here ------------------------------------------------------->>>>>

Enjooooy The Movie...:)

Kaise kahein Alvida...My Favourite song..Watch it here

So calm.....Music is My life

My Name is Valentine!!!

Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.

Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!

Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favorite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.

One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.

I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."

I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten!

5 things you should never share on Facebook

Almost every user likes to share everything on their Facebook page but certain updates can lead to criticism, embarrassment and even job termination.

So here's a shortlist of what you shouldn't share on the social networking site, reports CBS news.

1.That your job sucks.

If you say this, you could be fired.

2.That you hate your ex.

In the event that you and your boyfriend get back together, or you and that friend you had a falling out with start talking again, you'll look like a total sucker. It's okay to let your emotions govern your thoughts but keep your feelings off your Facebook until you've started to think clearly about said ex.

The important thing to remember about social networks is that although you have the option to delete your comments, sometimes it can be too late. It's immediate and someone might've laid eyes on it before your retraction.

3.That you're going on vacation and then give the dates you're away.

You could be robbed. A recent study found that thieves scan social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter for folks in targeted neighborhoods before they strike.

4.That you love yourself.

In fact, don't give any indication that you're your biggest fan. Your followers will only think the opposite. It's the biggest barometer of insecurity. Researchers at the University at Buffalo also found that women who base their self-worth on appearance and what people think of them tend to upload pictures very frequently.

5.That you're mean.

Saying mean things about people can only make you undesirable-for potential employers, dates, friends and strangers.