Tintumon Rocks!!!!!-Jokes by Tintumon

Dad to Tintumon:When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush.


Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?


Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani,
No.13,Halls rd,kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…


Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon
was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you
up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" Tintumon finished.


Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"


Prof.: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
Prof.: For Sodium?
Tintumon:NA
Prof.: What will we get if 1 atom of Barium & 2 atoms of Sodium combines?
Tintumon:"BANANA"





The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
“There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning,Wouldn’t it
be better to hear one at a time?”
Tintumon shouted, “Okay ? you start.”





Teacher: Imagine u r a millionaire. Write ur life history.
Tintumon didn’t write.
Teacher: why are you not writing?
Tintumon : I’m waiting 4 my secretary 2 take notes….



PASSIVE VOICE
teacher: Write the passive voice of " I made a mistake"
Tintumon: " I was made by a mistake"


PROFESSOR
A professor to tintumon: "what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?"
Tintumon: "JIMBALAKDI PAMBA"
professor: "I don’t understand anything"
Tintumon: "same 2 you"


PTA Meeting
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !


Techy Tintumon
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

Husbands Tears!!!!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the
kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be
in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a
tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from
his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago
when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I
do" she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the garden?" "Yes! I remember"
said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in
my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to
jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been
released today!"

Mental Attitude questions for Job seekers and learners

Interview Question: How do you handle a situation where the workload is beginning to be too much and your emotions start to be involved in the situation?

Answer Guide: Candidate should be able to step outside of an emotive situation, evaluate the problems, come up with solutions, and be character driven?

Interview Question: How do you handle yourself when you feel the world is against you?

Answer Guide: Response should show applicant is in control of their attitude, that they think rationally, and they do not see, or allow, themselves to be a victim.

Interview Question: How would your mother describe your attitude towards work?

Answer Guide: Applicant should respond with humor and yet still attempt to give an honest appraisal of his/her character traits. This includes both positive and negative traits as viewed from another person’s perspective.

Interview Question: Have you ever had an occasion when you discovered a strong point in your character, that you didn’t know you had? Then think of the same occasion, but with a personal limitation.

Answer Guide: Answer should demonstrate whether or not there is an ability to recognize and exploit strength of character and/or recognize weakness.

Interview Question: Is it useful to be able to quickly and accurately appraise another person’s temperament?

Answer Guide: Candidate should show that their personal perceptions are not biased and that they have the ability to make accurate judgments quickly.

Interview Question: When was the last time you had a project that really energized you.

Answer Guide: Applicant should demonstrate a high level of enthusiasm, energy, and dedication.

Interview Question: What is your general attitude towards life?

Answer Guide: Candidate should have a positive confident attitude. Words and body language will be evaluated to determine whether or not a truthful answer was given.

Interview Question: Do you attempt to predict how others will react to a given situation or a suggestion?

Answer Guide: Job seeker should anticipate reactions and objections which shows the skill to plan ahead. Job seeker should value people and understand the necessity of finding common goals and grounds.

Interview Question: How do you react when asked to do something beyond your capabilities?

Answer Guide: Job seeker should be able to admit that they do not know some things. They should have the ability push themselves forward in a challenging situation.

Interview Question: Would you describe yourself as an optimist or a pessimist?

Answer Guide: Most people are a mixture of the two, but the applicant’s words, presence and body language (especially the energy in the eyes) will indicate the predominant personality trait(s) and/or beliefs.

How to Reduce Facebook Spams???

If you are one of the 400+ million people on Facebook, you have probably already figured out a way to deal with filtering out the many potential notifications that you could be receiving.  Going to the “Account Settings” page under your personal profile leads you to a complex screen like the one pictured below:

If you keep going down the list, you will notice that you have full control over the notifications that you receive from Facebook to your email inbox.  I felt like I was in full control over these emails until I started receiving a certain type of message that started to bother me because I could not control it.  If you have been receiving messages from Facebook that you do not know the origin of, keep reading as you may have the same problem I have: receiving messages from people that you are not friends with and/or groups that you are not part of!

I should first of all point out that, in addition to the above screen, there is another screen in which you can control your Facebook notifications: Privacy Information –> Contact Settings.  In these contact settings there is the following selection that you can make:

If you select “Everyone” for this you are allowing people who find you in search results or visit your profile to send you a message.  I leave this on as I am open to hearing from people that may want to get into contact with me.  But this particular type of spam is not related to this type of general message.

The particular type of Facebook email notification that I have been getting has these characteristics:

• The email title displays that it is sent out by what appears to be the name of a Group that I am not a member of
• The headline at the beginning of the email now shows a person that I do not know sending out a message to all members of what appears to be the Group that I am not a member of
• When I click on the person who sent the email we are not friends
• When I click on the name of the Group it is not the name of a Group but is actually the name of a Facebook Event

And that is where I discovered the spam message loophole: If you create a Facebook Event, in addition to inviting your Facebook friends to the event, you can add email addresses from people that you don’t need to be friends with nor are even on Facebook to send them the notification.  Similar to how people spam you on LinkedIn by joining the same LinkedIn Groupthat you are in and sending you a message, there are many people on Facebook that are spamming you with Event notifications that you can’t turn off because they are inputting your email address.

In this age of social media there are many ways in which you can obtain someone’s email address.  The real question now is how to report these messages that you do not want to receive anymore.  With LinkedIn, if you receive a message, you can pinpoint the profile and report spam to either LinkedIn and/or the LinkedIn Groups that the person is a member of.  What to do in the case of these FB spam messages?

On the FB Event page itself there is a place to “Report the Event,” but even though there is a “Spam” option the event itself could very well be a legitimate one.

The only remaining option is to select the link to reply to the message and at the top there is a “Report Spam” button.  Once you press it there is no questioning for clarification but it says that the message was reported for spam.

Will Facebook be looking at those messages that you report for spam?  Will it prevent the sender of the message from spamming you again?  Only time will tell…

Y U N o ??? Superb funny pics -->

Five reasons why parents are important!-Prakz

Did you know that research indicates parental involvement in a child’s education increases their chance of success in school?  This does not mean that you have to be involved with your child’s school – although that is always to be desired.  Some research even states that when parents support their child’s learning in the home can increase a child’s chance of success by 80%!
I wanted to know why parents made such a difference to a child’s success in school.  What I found was that parents have an enormous influence on how children learn.  Here are five reasons, presented in  no particular order, why you influence your child’s learning.
1.  Children learn from people they love
There is a large emotional component to learning, especially for young children who are often more concerned with immediate situations than with eventual outcomes.  Children learn best when they feel secure and respected and this happens when they are with people they love.  Your child loves you, that fact alone ensures that you have an influence on their learning.
Have you noticed that your child is more ready to learn  from a teacher she likes than from a teacher she does not care for?  The teaching may be of the same quality but it is the emotional component that makes the difference.
2.  Your child tries to please you
All children want their parents to like them. Sometimes they behave as though this is not the case, but in reality they care very much.  It is because they want you to like them that you have such an important influence on their learning behavior. They will try to do the things that you want them to do (OK, this might not work with teenagers!).  In this way you are shaping your child’s attitudes and learning behavior.
3.  Your child tries to be like you
Every young child thinks that their parents are perfect!  As a result they will copy your actions and try to do what you do.  I recently heard this story which is a wonderful example of how this happens.
My friend was babysitting her young grandson and was about to take him for a walk.  As she sat on the stairs to help him put his shoes on she let out a big sigh (knees can hurt as you get older!).  As her grandson sat beside her he too let out a big sigh, even though his knees were not hurting him!  He was trying to be like his grandma.
You need to be aware that you are constantly acting as a role model for your child.  Your child believes that whatever you do is the right thing. (Parenting is the hardest job in the world!).  By modeling good behavior you influence your child’s behavior and by modeling good learning habits you influence your child’s learning.
4. You are your child’s first teacher
You must have heard this before.  It is used like a mantra in parent/teacher meetings.  It is usually taken to mean that you teach your child a lot before he or she enters school.  As parents you teach your child to walk, talk, socialize, and maybe even to read before they ever get to the door of a school.  This makes you an important influence on your child’s learning.
5. You have a special role to play
However, my research indicates that, while helping your child develop the the skills listed in #4 is important, you have an even more important role to play in helping your children learn. You help your child learn how to learn.  By this I mean that you help your child develop the skills they need to benefit from the teaching they will receive in school.
Let me explain.  Just as you needed to learn how to drive a car your child needs to learn how to make use of the information and knowledge that comes his way.  Learning just does not happen, children have to know how to learn.  They need to develop certain learning to learn skills, skills such as how to use their memory to help them do their work,  how to cooperate with others so that project work can get finished, how to listen and understand what the teacher is telling them.
The good news is that most children learn these skills by watching you do and trying to do what you do (see #1,2. and 3 above).  In this way they pick up many of the skills you use to help you through the day.  It happens automatically whenever you interact with your child – another reason for spending quality time with your child.
The bad news is that because it happens automatically parents often do not make a point of making sure that their child learns all the skills he or she needs.  This means that some children enter school missing some of the skills they need to become good learners and this can lead to learning difficulties for the child.
You influence your child’s ability to learn by ensuring that he or she has the learning skills needed to benefit from schooling.
I think that both parents and teachers agree that parental involvement in a child’s learning is important.  These five reasons indicate why.

34 Facts that u will be Interested to know!!!

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a Person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions!!!!!!!!!!


2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!


3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.


4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.


5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.


6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow Then it is ripe.


7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.


8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.


9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.


10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.


11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.


12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.


13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.


14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.


15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.


16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.


17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14. 4 calories per hour by Breathing.


18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.


19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk Rightfoot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left Foot...


20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.


21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.


22. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch and make it look like it's smiling.


23. The color blue can have a calming affect on people.


24. Depending upon the shade, the brain may send up to 11 tranquilizing Chemicals to calm the body


25. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously. Now we know why his pictures were exquisite!!


26. Names of the three wise monkeys are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).


27. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and parrot.


28. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.


29. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child Reaches 2-6 years of age


30. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.


31. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.


32. All U.S. Presidents have worn glasses; some of them just didn't like to be seen wearing them in public.


33. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.


34. Raw cashews are poisonous and must be roasted before.

Best Buttons for Fun

Good and funny sayings

      
        

MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY

IT IS NOT MY EXPERIENCE, BUT ITS GOOD TO SHARE.
Germany is a highly industrialized country. It produces top brands like Benz, BMW, Siemens etc. The nuclear reactor pump is made in a small town in this country. In such a country, many will think its people lead a luxurious life. At least that was my impression before my study trip.

When I arrived at Hamburg, my colleagues who work in Hamburg arranged a welcome party for me in a restaurant. As we walked into the restaurant, we noticed that a lot of tables were empty. There was a table where a young couple was having their meal. There were only two dishes and two cans of  beer on the table. I wondered if such simple meal could be romantic, and  whether the girl will leave this stingy guy.

There were a few old ladies on another table. When a dish is served, the waiter would distribute the food for them, and they would finish every bit of the food on their plates.

We did not pay much attention to them, as we were looking forward to the dishes we ordered. As we were hungry, our local colleague ordered more food for us.

As the restaurant was quiet, the food came quite fast. Since there were other activities arranged for us, we did not spend much time dining. When we left, there was still about one third of unconsumed food on the table.

When we were leaving the restaurant, we heard someone calling us. We noticed the old ladies in the restaurant were talking about us to the restaurant owner. When they spoke to us in English, we understood that they were unhappy about us wasting so much food. We immediately felt that  they were really being too busybody.

"We paid for our food, it is none of your business how much food we left behind," my colleague Gui told the old ladies.

The old ladies were furious. One of them immediately took her hand phone out and made a call to someone. After a while, a man in uniform from the Social Security organization arrived. Upon knowing  what the dispute was, he issued us a 50 Mark fine.

We all kept quiet. The local colleague took out a 50 Mark note and repeatedly apologized to the officer.

The officer told us in a stern voice, "ORDER WHAT YOU CAN CONSUME, MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY. THERE ARE MANY OTHERS IN THE WORLD WHO ARE FACING SHORTAGE OF RESOURCES. YOU HAVE NO REASON TO WASTE RESOURCES."

Our face turned red. We all agreed with him in our hearts. The mindset of people of this rich country put all of us to shame. WE REALLY NEED TO REFLECT ON THIS. We are from  country which is not very rich in resources. To save face, we order large quantity and also waste food when we give others a treat. THIS LESSON TAUGHT US A LESSON TO THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT CHANGING OUR BAD HABITS.

My colleague Photostatted the fine ticket and gave a copy to each of us as a souvenir. All of us kept it and pasted on our wall to remind us that we shall never be wasteful.

Top 10 Worst April Fool's Day Hoaxes Of All Time

#1: Hijinks of Hussein and Son

Saddam Hussein and his sons may have been ruthless, power-hungry dictators, but that didn't stop them from trying to give the people of Iraq a good chuckle every April Fool's Day. On April 1, 1998 the Babilnewspaper, owned by Hussein's son Uday, informed its readers that President Clinton had decided to lift sanctions against Iraq, only to admit later that it was just joking. One can imagine the knee-slapping guffaws when readers realized how they'd been taken for a ride. The laughs continued in 1999 when Uday mischeviously announced that the monthly food rations would be supplemented to include bananas, Pepsi, and chocolate. Again, just a joke. At this point, the Husseins appear to have run out of material, because in 2000 they recycled the sanction-lifting gag, and in 2001 trotted out the ration-supplement crowd-pleaser one more time. The merciless quality with which the same joke was repeated year after year had an almost surreal quality to it. In fact, it almost makes one sympathize with Saudi Arabia's chief cleric, the Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah Al al-Sheikh, who in 2001 decreed that the celebration of April Fool's Day should be banned altogether. It's not known if the Sheikh had his neighbor's hijinks in mind when he issued the ban.

#2: Releasing The Prisoners

Imagine reading that your husband or brother who has been held in a squalid Romanian prison for years is finally going to be released. You make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!' This experience happened to sixty people in April 2000 who read in the Opinia newspaper that their loved ones were going to be released from the Baia Mare prison in Romania. They made the long journey to the prison, only to learn that the paper had played an April Fool's joke on them. The Opinia later published an apology.

#3: The Phony Deadline

Glenn Howlett's colleagues at London city hall thought they had dreamed up a great gag. They sent him a memo informing him that the really big report he was working on was going to be due early, in just two weeks. The tip-off was that the memo was dated April 1st. Ha Ha. Except Howlett didn't realize it was a joke. He received the memo while on vacation and immediately cut his vacation short and phoned the office to tell everyone to start getting busy. But as he contemplated the new deadline he worked himself up into an increasing state of panic, until soon he began to experience heart palpitations. Finally he collapsed from the stress and had to take leave from work. As he was recovering he realized it just wasn't worth risking his health to finish the report, so he filed for early retirement. At which point someone told him the early deadline was just a joke. He responded by suing for damages. As a consequence of his lawsuit, city hall banned employees from pulling any more pranks.

#4: The Dead Dog

The film National Lampoon's Vacation includes a scene in which Chevy Chase ties a dog to the bumper of his car, then forgets the dog is there and drives away. Inspired by this scene, Paul Goobie tied a dead chihuahua to the bumper of his co-worker's car. His co-worker, Kevin Meloy, got in the car and drove off, unaware that the chihuahua was there. Obviously passing motorists were horrified. But what made the situation even worse was that Meloy was deaf, so he couldn't hear the other motorists frantically honking at him. Happily he drove on for miles until finally someone was able to get his attention. Police charged Goobie with unlawful disposal of a dead animal.

#5: A Fake Hanging

Randy Wood's marriage was over, but apparently he was still a little bitter about the divorce. So he decided to play a prank on his ex-wife. He called her up and asked her to come over, telling her that he had something to show her. Obligingly she drove over, only to find him hanging by a noose from a tree in his front yard. Terrifed, she immediately dialed 911. Emergency services, including firefighters, policemen, and paramedics, soon showed up. But when they went to cut Wood down they discovered he wasn't dead. He wasn't even hurt. He had strung himself up as a prank to scare his ex-wife, using a lineman's harness similar to those used by utility crews. The authorities warned that he would face a fine of up to $1,000 and a year in jail for his prank.

#6: A Fake Robbery

Sitra Walker was an employee at a clothing store in Columbus, Ohio. She had only been working there for two weeks, but already she felt that she knew the manager well enough to joke around with him. So on April 1, 2003 she called him up at his home and told him that armed men were robbing the store. The manager immediately called the police, who promptly dispatched four cruisers. Minutes later Walker phoned the manager again and screamed 'April Fools'. Too late. When the police arrived moments later they weren't amused and charged her with inducing a panic. Walker's manager fired her.

#7: Revival of the Warsaw Pact

In 1996 the Russian news agency Itar-Tass reported that the Russian parliament was debating whether to revive the Warsaw Pact. The startling report was immediately repeated by news agencies in the Czech Republic and Bulgaria, causing widespread panic. A few hours later Itar-Tass admitted that it had just been joking, and apologized for any confusion it might have caused.

#8: Fake Death Report

In 1986 Israel Radio broadcast that Nabih Berri, leader of the Shi'ite Amal movement, had been assassinated. The news caused an immediate flare-up of tensions in the region. However, Israeli officials quickly denounced the report as a hoax. The false report was traced back to an army intelligence officer who had planted the news item in the broadcasts of the Israeli Army's intelligence monitoring unit, from which it had been picked up by Israel Radio. Apparently the officer had meant it as an April Fool's joke (because hey, nothing says funny like stirring up tension in the Middle-East). Israel's Defence Minister, Yitzhak Rabin, announced that the unnamed officer would be court-martialed. "Berri Berri funny," one foreign correspondent wryly commented.

In the category of 'really bad fake death reports' one must also note the time in 1998 when Boston DJ's Opie and Anthony announced that the mayor of Boston, Tom Menino, had died in a car crash. Because City Hall couldn't immediately reach the Mayor to confirm that he was actually alive, many believed the report, including members of the Mayor's family. The next day Opie and Anthony were suspended without pay.

#9: Fake Disaster Warnings

In 1999 DJs at Oregon radio station KSJJ announced that the Ochoco dam had burst, threatening downstream areas with massive flooding. What made the warning believable was that hundreds of houses in these areas had been damaged the previous year when the Ochoco Creek had flooded, so terrified homeowners who heard the news quickly prepared to flee. Later the DJs informed their listeners that it was all a joke. They had just been 'having a little fun'. The homeowners were not amused.

In the same genre of non-funny disaster warnings, there's also WNOR's 1992 April 1st report in which it warned that a large build-up of methane gas was about to cause a fiery explosion at Mount Trashmore, a landfill near Virginia Beach. Residents were warned to evacuate the area, causing the local 911 to be flooded with calls. The DJs responsible for the prank were suspended without pay for two weeks.

#10: The Iraqi Ambassador's Final Joke

On April 1, 2003, as thousands of American-led coalition troops stormed across Iraq, the Iraqi ambassador to Russia, Abbas Khalaf Kunfuth, held a press conference in Moscow. Many were expecting him to announce that Iraq conceded defeat. Instead Kunfuth chose this moment to hold a gag press conference. Holding up a piece of paper that he identified as a news flash from Reuters, he read aloud from it: "The Americans have accidentally fired a nuclear missile into British forces, killing seven." Immediately the room full of reporters went silent with shock. Then Kunfuth grinned and shouted 'April Fools!' Only a few days after this unexpected moment of levity, the Iraqi government completely collapsed.